HOW TO RUIN YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE FOREVER

Do you notice that there are so many blogs and articles about HOW TO SAVE MONEY, HOW TO INVEST or HOW TO BE RICH QUICKLY? Has this been constantly landing on your Facebook Newsfeeds or is it just mine? Hahaha

These are good topics to read right? But after you read so much articles and watched videos, has there any CHANGE? Or were you like, "Damn, I'm gonna save money starting TODAY I swear!" And then after 5 minutes, you passed by H&M and there was a SALE, and you're like "Bukas na talaga I swear!!!"

Familiar?

Admit it or not, we've all been through that. And yup this article is NOT about HOW TO BE RICH. In fact, THIS IS HOW TO BE POOR AND BROKE, because we're not some "Financial Experts" here.

So get your feet up and get cozy because this is some helluva serious girl talk. (I'll try to insert jokes don't worry)

TO RUIN YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE FOREVER, IS VERY EASY.

HERE'S SOME TIPS:

1. BE LAZY

- Don't work. Don't find a job. Don't do business. Don't do anything! Simple. Just keep lying down on your bed all day and watch Netflix and post your selfies on Facebook. Then ask your parents to pay for your meals, your bills and even your date. That would surely piss them off. But hey, they're your parents. THEY WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT even if you're an ass. And they will feed you until their last breath. Even when they're already 70 years old, they will try their best to work so they can feed you. Now if they're gone, you can ask your siblings if they can take care of you for the rest of their lives even when they have already their own family. Or if you don't have siblings, you might as well go to public places and just sit there wait for some donations to come in. Make sure you dress like a beggar, by the way. You also might want to post that on facebook or instagram. Who knows, you might just get viral. You know, the 1 LIKE = 1 Prayer kinda thing.

2. MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD

"I DON'T LIKE TO GO ON SHOPPING ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE NO MONEY"- Said NO ONE EVER!

The magic card is the best human invention ever created!You may have NO CASH, but hey you've got 500,000 limit on your credit card. Who cares right? You need to have that OOTD posted on Instagram because you need your crush to double tap it so you have to really look smokin hot in that outfit! And because your friends are going to Boracay this weekend, you definitely have to be a part of it! Or else what will your friends say about you??? And besides, you've never been to bora in your entire life. This is your parents' fault because they never planned a family holiday there when you were still young! So you go and book that ticket and expensive hotel using your credit card so you can go join your friends for this weekend's sosyal getaway.

Food? No problem! You can still use your card and even treat the whole barkada, because you knooooow, you're sosyal! Plus it's ganda points for you, because they'll announce to the whole world that you are such a generous person! (Insert angel emoji here please!)

3. INVEST IN SCAMS AND DON'T LEARN FROM IT

- Yeah, seriously. This is one of the best ways to get yourself in a financial mess! Those "companies" who promises you 500% Return on your money in just 3 months? Go for it!! Who knows, you might be bankrupt in less than a month!

4. DO NOT READ FINANCIAL BOOKS AND ARTICLES

Do not educate yourself! Never! Just do what you were told to do: Get a job, spend money you don't have, don't invest, be mentally lazy. Guaranteed at age 65, when you're no longer capable of working because you're too old, you'll be sitting down alone, drinking your coffee and wondering where did all your money go. Go depend on your GSIS/SSS that won't even last you a month.

5. SPEND. SPEND. SPEND.

Never ever let money stay with you for so long. Once it touches the palm of your hands, release it quickly! Be mad at money! After all, "money is the root of all evil". So you must never be bestfriends with money. Instead of being friends with money, be bestfriends with DEBTS! ALL KINDS OF DEBTS! Spend the rest of your life paying it and guaranteed, you'll end up poor forever.

6. HAVE A POOR MINDSET

Always believe that you are NOT capable of handling and managing huge money. Also, NEVER BE GRATEFUL for whatever you have. Always complain about every single thing that is wrong in your life. Comparing your self to others would work too! Scroll your newsfeeds every five minutes to see where your friends are and what they're doing. Be envious of them. Focus on their blessings, not yours. In no time, you'll be receiving a snowball unfortunate events and lots of shit!

So there you go. Do you find your self in any of these? Think about it if this what you really want in life. If it is then we wish you all the worst! But if you do believe in Second Chances, then that's the first step

Do not share this to your friends and family. Let's keep this blog a secret. sssshhhhhhh...

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